What’s Under the Carpet? Relationship Rules to Help You Clean Up Well

1. At first sign of a mess, irritation or dislike in another, or in a situation, if possible be direct and honest about your feelings to the parties involved.

2. Use “I statements” and do not use blame language, negative tone or negative body language or they will immediately shut down, be defensive and not listen to you, or give you the attention or reaction you want.

3. If you are not clear about your feelings, or about what happened to get you upset or irritated, then have your own committee meeting with yourself- Ask yourself the questions-What happened here? Why am I upset? What do I need to make this Ok for me? Listen to your inner voice for guidance then proceed.

4. Ask whomever is involved some questions to help you clarify what happened, and to help you understand the situation and your feelings better for both of you.

5. Find out what the other person needs to be OK as well.

6. Listen and repeat back to the other person what they said so they know they have been heard.

7. Make sure you get heard as well and ask for what you need in a respectful way.

8. Negotiate what you both need, with calm fair communication back and forth

9. Make an agreement and commitment for how it will be different.

10. Shake, hug and make up and/or apologize to make it official.

11. Call a Relationship Specialist to teach you the strategies and tools to clean up the mess and keep it clean!

These are just a few of the beginning strategies you can use when you experience a challenge in any of your relationships. Practice them whenever you feel upset, unfocused or unhappy in a situation for better clarity, self-understanding, personal growth and relationship success!

Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before. That may mean finding a relationship coach that can support you (and your relationships) in having the best life you’ve ever had!

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