Vocabulary According to Kids

These are likely what kids think the meaning of these words are when they hear them. (Just my guess, I haven’t been a kid since last millenium, and purposely never had any.)

Anarchist – someone who wants to be like Noah

Bigamy – playing two games at the same time

Cardiac – a small Cadillac pedal car for kids

Claustrophobia – Fear that Santa Claus will skip your house this year cuz you were Bad

Climatologist – experts on climbing trees, poles, and ladders

Cosmetologist – a professional makeup lady, puts on makeup for a fee

Curator – the guy in the museum who keeps bad art from making visitors sick

Deadline – a line that, if crossed, might get you killed

Dietician – an expert on dieting

Diversion – distracting someone with math

Dogma – the study of female dogs

Electrical engineer – someone who drives electric trains

Economist – an expert at saving money

Executor – the guy in prison who pulls the switch on the electric chair

Fantasy – when Fanta is your favorite soft drink

Flexology – studying how flexible people are

Fracture – a course in the math of tiny numbers

Gastronomy – the study of gas in the air

Gastronomist – the pilot of hot air balloons

Greenhouse effect – when all the plants go crazy growing all year and get real big

Holy ghost – what God sends to scare you if you have no ‘fear of God’

Hyperbole – a really big cereal bowl

Impale – someone’s telling you that they don’t feel so well

Infraction – something broken on the inside, like a rib

Linguistics – the art of cooking Italian pasta

Mammals – animal mothers

Marathon – a bunch of the same tv show back-to-back, like a Star Trek Marathon

Medium – the next stage after being a minor

Meteorologist Рan expert on meteors, where to find them in the sky and after the hit the earth

Minuet – to eat something really fast

Numerology – the science of counting stuff

Nun – what they call women who give up everything for God: “got nun left”

Nutritionist – an expert on all types of nuts

Paradigm – a nickel short of a quarter

Passport – a pass that allows you to pass through a port, obviously

Pheromones – maybe the pharoah ain’t dead yet

Pianist – a word that kids shouldn’t say until they’re in college or the army

Pluresy – when you have more than one illness at once

Politics – the science of poles

Politician – the guys who put up and fix all the poles

Racist – someone who runs from foreigners

Radiologist – the guy who fixes radios

Rocker – someone who likes loud dance music

Sadist – the least happy person

Sailor – the people who make sails for sailboats

Sociology – the study of people talking and partying

Steeplechase – a horse race to the church, first rider to climb the steeple wins

Terminal illness – something you catch at an airport or train station

Theology – the study of guys named Theo

Topology – the study of the movements of spinning tops

Treasurer – someone who hunts for lost or buried treasure

Zoology – the science of running zoos and feeding animals at the right times

Nov 25th, 2015 | Posted in Humor
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